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How to Start a Conversation on a Dating App: Tips for Your First Online Message

In the digital age, dating apps have revolutionised the way people connect with each other. However, initiating a conversation on these platforms can often feel daunting. The first message sets the tone for the interaction, and it’s essential to make it engaging and memorable. In this guide, we will explore effective strategies to kickstart a conversation on a dating app, offering you valuable tips and actionable advice that can help you stand out.

Understanding Your Match

Take a Glance at Their Profile

Before sending that first message, invest some time in reviewing your match’s profile. Look for common interests, hobbies, or any unique aspects that resonate with you. This not only shows that you’ve taken an interest in them as a person but also gives you a solid foundation for your opening line.

Keywords to Look Out For

• Interests and hobbies
• Recent travel experiences
• Favourite books, films, or music
• Pets or lifestyle choices

Identifying these keywords will help you craft a personalised message that grabs their attention and shows genuine interest.

Crafting the Perfect Opener

Avoid Generic Greetings

The cliché "Hi" or "Hey" can often get lost in a sea of messages. Instead, aim for something more engaging. A personalised opener demonstrates enthusiasm and sets a positive tone for the conversation.

Use Humour (But Be Careful)

If you have a knack for it, a bit of light-hearted humour can be an excellent icebreaker. A funny observation or a witty comment can create a warm atmosphere. However, be mindful of your match’s sense of humour, as jokes can sometimes fall flat without knowing someone’s personality.

Effective Conversation Starters

Ask Open-Ended Questions

An effective way to keep the conversation flowing is to ask open-ended questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” response. This encourages your match to share more about themselves and leads to a more engaging dialogue.

Examples of Open-Ended Questions:

• "What’s the most exciting place you’ve ever travelled to?"
• "If you could have dinner with any person, dead or alive, who would it be and why?"
• "What’s a movie you could watch over and over again without getting bored?"

Spark Curiosity

Make your message intriguing by posing a question that piques their curiosity. For instance, ask what their dream job would be if money was no object, or what unique talent they have that not many people know about. This kind of questioning can lead to fun, lively exchanges.

The Art of Complimenting

Give Sincere Compliments

Compliments can be a great way to build rapport; just ensure they are genuine. Rather than focusing solely on looks, compliment something unique you’ve noticed in their profile — perhaps a shared interest or a particular aspect of their personality.

Examples:

• "I love your taste in music, especially the bands you’ve mentioned. Have you seen any live performances recently?"
• "Your travel pictures are stunning! What has been your top travel destination so far?"

Avoid Overdoing It

While compliments can enhance a conversation, too many can come off as insincere. Aim for a balanced approach, sprinkled with a few well-placed compliments that sound natural within the flow of conversation.

Timing and Persistence

Be Patient

After you send your first message, give your match time to respond. If they don’t reply immediately, don’t take it personally. Everyone has different schedules and commitments.

Follow Up Beautifully

If your match responds positively, keep the conversation going by asking follow-up questions related to what they’ve shared. This shows that you’re genuinely interested in them and can help deepen your connection.

Example:
If they mention loving hiking, you might ask about their favourite trails or share a hiking experience you’ve had.

Maintaining the Momentum

Know When to Switch Topics

As the conversation progresses, don’t be afraid to shift gears. Introduce new topics that can reignite the energy, whether it’s discussing books, favourite recipes, or even quirky would-you-rather scenarios.

Keep It Balanced

Avoid dominating the conversation. Make sure to share parts of your own life and experiences, allowing the dialogue to flow naturally in both directions.

Ending on a High Note

Leave Room for Future Conversations

When you’re about to wrap up your conversation, consider leaving an open-ended question or comment that can easily transition into future chats. This can leave a positive impression and make your match look forward to chatting again.

Example:
"I loved hearing about your trip to Japan! I’d love to hear more about it next time we chat."

Conclusion

Starting a conversation on a dating app doesn’t have to be a nerve-wracking experience. By preparing yourself with personalised openers, engaging questions, and a good dose of sincerity, you can foster meaningful connections. Remember, the goal is to find common ground and spark interest, paving the way for an enjoyable and potentially romantic experience. With these expert tips in your toolkit, you’re all set to venture into the exciting world of online dating with confidence!